There are so many things we were never taught about sex. One those being pleasure. I suppose, since traditional sex education classes taught abstinence and were often focused on the dangers of sex, letting us in on the secret that sex is fun and feels good would have made it hard to instill fear about sex.
Pleasure is an integral part of sexuality that we’ve all discovered on our own. There are many things we can do to increase satisfaction and pleasure. We believe in 4 over arching ways for approaching your sex life that will consistently increase pleasure.
4 Ways to Increase Pleasure
Communication
Communication is key to having a fulfilling sex life. Discussing your fantasies, desires, and boundaries can help bring you and your partner closer together. We believe a large component to be basic communication and voicing needs and desires.
Talking openly about the details of sexual activities leads to common understanding, which ensures both partners are getting what they want out of the experience. Communicate often and about a variety of things. Just as you would any topic. Explore ideas and have hypothetical conversations that keep the topic of your sex life at the forefront. Your sexuality is not something to cower from, nor is your sex life, something to hide from your relationship. Consistent communication will keep your sex life at the top of your priorities.
Masturbation
Masturbation is a great way to get to know your body better and understand what feels best for you, sexually. It can also be useful in teaching a partner how you like to be touched and pleasured. If you’re single, it is a great time to focus on your personal pleasure. Once you get into a relationship, you’ll have more to bring to the table and share about your sexuality, because you have spent the time learning about it.
If you’re in a relationship you can still prioritize time for self-pleasure. It’s a form of self-care and will ensure that you feel empowered in your sexuality. Whether you masturbate more or less, there is not incorrect way, as long as you are honoring yourself.
Empowerment comes from within. It’s about taking ownership of your sexuality and understanding that your pleasure is important too. This means being comfortable with who you are and what you want in the bedroom. Masturbation will help you, not rely on anyone else for sexual satisfaction and understanding, it is something that can be found within yourself.
Exposure to Other People’s Sex Lives
Remember that most people have never witnessed someone else’s sex life, so we’re all just learning as we go.
Learning from other people’s experiences can help you get creative ideas for spicing up your own sex life. Watching videos or reading accounts of other people’s erotic adventures can provide stimulation and insight into different techniques or activities that might be enjoyable for you and your partner.
We enjoy Lustery and Cheex, as platforms that share real erotic content. Both, have curated collections of erotic tapes from a variety of creators. It gives you an opportunity to see different people and the many ways relationships can express themselves.
Erotic stories can also be an exciting way to get creative with your own sex life. As they provide a platform for you to explore different fantasies and interests, while also allowing you to keep the focus on your pleasure and satisfaction. They are also great for exploring desires without any pressure of performance or expectations.
When exploring these stories together, it is important to practice communication throughout the process so as not to cross any boundaries or make either partner uncomfortable. Start off slow with each couple reading a story together. Then discuss what parts resonated with each of you and why. This allows you an opportunity to create a shared experience out of something new and create space for conversations about sexuality and pleasure both inside and outside the bedroom.
Open the door to conversations about sexuality with your friends, as well. Remember we’re all just learning as we go. We understand that you may not want to share all details of your sex life with close friends, but they are also your best friends and who better to go to. It can feel very freeing to feel comfortable discussing sex with your friends.
Play
Play is an important part of any relationship, especially when it comes to sex! Exploring your sexuality with your partner can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Experimenting with different positions, activities and introducing toys can be a fun way to explore new sensations together while deepening the connection between partners.
This kind of exploration can be thrilling, exciting and lead to feelings of intimacy that aren’t found in any other kind of relationship!
When it comes to playing with sex toys, it is important to make sure everyone involved is onboard and knows how each toy will be used. For some couples, who have never used sex toys before. this can feel intimidating or awkward at first. Be open and honest about what you are feeling so that you both feel comfortable taking things at a pace that works for both of you. When couples try out new toys together it is usually best to start off slow by using small pieces like vibrators or anal plugs before working up to larger items like strap-ons or bondage gear.
Exploring fantasies can also provide a great way for couples to connect on a deeper level. Discussing fantasies out loud can help create a better understanding between partners and provide an opportunity for trust-building. It’s also important to remember that not everything we fantasize about will actually work in practice – some fantasies may require more negotiation than two people are willing or able to do – so communication about desires is key here too.
Ultimately, play should be whatever adds pleasure and excitement into your sex life without crossing anyone’s boundaries! Whether it’s exploring new positions together or introducing toys into the bedroom – play should always be something that makes everyone involved feel comfortable and happy!
Beyond sexual play and trying new things, make sure to play in your life! Having fun, laughing making jokes and a willingness to be silly will bring so much joy and love to your relationship. That is the true key to increased pleasure in your relationship.
Understanding these 4 steps will help you create a pleasurable experience and build satisfaction in your sex life. There are plenty of ways to explore tantra, kink, lubes and toys if that appeals to you! Remember communication and fun are key to the sex life of your dreams!
xx, Kate
