We spend time taking care of ourselves – going to therapy, exercising, meditating, journaling. All these healthy habits take care of our health in some way. One area many people let fall to the wayside is their relationship health, sex life and intimacy. If you ask, us these are some of the most important areas to nurture. Sex is like fuel that creates energy for areas of your life. Your relationship satisfaction is also a predictor of how your general emotional state in the rest of your life. Feeling inspired in your relationship, spreads through every area of your life.
Here are some of our favorite resources and places that you can go to spice up your sex life, inspire your intimacy and learn. Making some of these part of your weekly practice will prioritize your relationship and create intentional energy between you and your partner
Educate Yourself
The best way to improve your sex life and spice things up in the bedroom is to learn more about sex and pleasure! Knowledge is power. The more you learn, the more ideas you’ll have to put into action. Chris has learned a lot from Erik Everhard. You can read his book or sign up for his academy. Another site, that you may have heard of is OMG Yes.
Both of these platforms are targeted towards teaching you about sex and pleasure. Erik Everhard is a professional porn star who is known for his skills. This is a good place for men to learn, but as a woman I also found it really interesting. On the otherhand, OMG Yes, is targeted towards women. They focus on teaching you about women’s pleasure and anatomy. It’s a great resource for learning about your body.
Observe Others
Whether we like it or not, watching porn is a way that we learn about sex. A lot of porn can give unrealistic expectations, but if you choose ethical porn created by people who are being real, you can actually learn a lot and get inspired! Chris and I have received this testimonial hundreds of times. It’s an honor to inspire people in that way. Two great places to discover creators that make ethical videos are Lustery and Cheex. Both of those links will give you a discount on your subscription! The two companies are similar in that they share ethical erotic videos, but they have one main distinction, being that Cheex, also integrates sex ed into their platform. Cheex also produces some of their own unique videos, while Lustery videos are all from creators.
Practice Tantra
I’ve always said that Tantra is like meditation, it can be perceived and practiced in many ways! It’s not a practice that is explicitly about sex, but that is what we’ve made it in our western culture. Learning about it and finding the ways you can integrate it into your intimate life, can strengthen your relationship and sex life. Personally, I like to integrate the energy of tantra into every area of my life, but in my intimate life I like to bring in the elements of massage and tantric touch.
I think this is the best and most relatable book for learning about tantra.
I’ve also written an online course that teaches you my method of giving tantric lingam massage.
Date Your Partner
Be curious about your partner and keep learning about them. We’re constantly changing and even if you think you know everything about your partner, there is always something more you could learn. Spending time with each other and trying new things will stimulate engaging conversations.
We also understand that when you’ve been with someone for a long time, sometimes you have to get creative and it can be hard to think of new things! Fortunately, in our social media era, you can find inspiration in dozens of places. TikTok, Instagram, and Pinterest are great places to search for date ideas. The Adventure Challenge is a book of unique date ideas that you can try. I also put a date idea or two and other relationship tips in my weekly newsletter, that is part of my coaching business. The point is that there always places to look and ideas to be had, if you’re willing to search and talk to your partner about it!
Intimacy Challenge
Another way to strengthen your relationship is to create habits around intimacy. We’re not suggesting that you are mindlessly intimate, but that you intentionally create a practice that makes it more of a habit. For example, maybe every Tuesday night for 8 weeks, it’s date night, no matter what. The longer you do this the more it will become routine and Tuesday’s will be the night that you can count on connecting.
This was the intention behind our 14 Days of Intimacy course. It’s 28+ activities, designed to be completed each day for 2 weeks. Each day offers 2 options, one that’s more intricate and one that is more simple. The idea is to connect with your partner, try new things and build intimacy between you. Strengthening your connection is the main way that you will create a more vibrant sex life, so this course may also be something to try!
