How to Get Started Swinging

First Things First

You’re likely to be triggered by situations where your partner is with someone else, often when you’re least expecting it. It can hurt a lot, and be difficult to handle when you’re in bed with another couple. This can be from seeing  your partner look at someone in bed with that sparkle in their eyes that you are used to being reserved for you, or even more potentially painful, a sparkle in their eyes that you haven’t ever seen (this was one of my triggers). Another can be if your partner does something with/for someone else that they don’t like doing for you. Some of these are not predictable or preventable, and will need to be approached afterword with good communication, and hopefully an open-minded marriage counselor (schedule and appointment for the day after your first rendezvous), but much of it can be practiced and approached prior to your first experience. Here are a few ways you can dip your toes in the “lifestyle” water without diving all the way in on your first day:

 – Go to a busy bar or nightclub together, and dare each other to approach attractive singles and flirt with them or ask them to dance. This is the best way to get an idea what it will feel like to see your partner attracted to someone else, which can be extremely uncomfortable at first. If this sounds terrifying to you, it is even more important that you do it before approaching a swap with another couple

 – Go to a lifestyle club (below) and talk to the members and get a feel for the vibe. You can also try having sex with your partner in public. We recommend agreeing beforehand that you won’t do ANYTHING with another couple on your first night, no matter how good the vibe feels. Couples will be eager to exchange information if there’s good chemistry, and unlike traditional dating, we’ve never experienced a couple disappear because you didn’t act when the chemistry was initially strong

 – Look for couples on the social websites (above) who are open to same-bed sex but also comfortable not swapping. It’s really hot to have sex next to another couple, and if both couples are comfortable, hands can wander to each-other’s bodies. This is very hot and much less likely to be uncomfortable than a soft-swap or full-swap

– TAKE BABY STEPS! Many couples, like us, will not ever be another couple’s “first” and this is for good reason. Most drama in the lifestyle comes from couples that are just starting out and going too fast, without taking the smaller steps listed above. Take small steps, stay sober or only have one drink (another major cause of drama and lack of performance in bed), and take it SLOW

 – Consider Viagra. This isn’t one you’ll see on most guides, but my experience is that when I’m nervous my junk doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter how turned on I am or comfortable I feel with a new partner, I generally can’t get hard with someone until I’ve been with them 2-3 times. This can lead to a very disappointing first experience as you watch your partner getting it on with someone new, and you and your new partner are just trying to make the most of a situation that is understandable but always at least a little frustrating. Having some viagra on hand has prevented this experience 100% of the time for me, and it might be worth talking to your doctor about before you go for hard swap with another couple if you have the same tendency as me

Best Website to Meet Swingers in YOUR AREA

Kate and I found  much more success on websites for swingers than we did at “swinger clubs.” The selection, and ability to filter based on interests, age, and read the bio saved us a ton of time and money rather than visiting individual clubs and hoping for a match. Every single great experience we’ve had swinging came from a website, not a club. Because the best swinger website for you varies drastically based on location, I spent an ENTIRE DAY searching 3 major sites for swingers and counting the members. Click here to see my list of the best swinging sites depending on your city and state. We are members of all these sites and can vouch for their legitimacy. Stop by  our profile and say hi!

Lifestyle Clubs

There are lifestyle clubs in many states that you can meet other lifestyle couples. In some, you can find areas with private beds and beds for public viewing. The biggest rule in these clubs is CONSENT. Get clear verbal consent from someone and their partner before touching them in any way. You will be forcibly removed from any club by their staff or their members if you break this rule, and rightfully so. Always discuss boundaries, safe sex, and preferences before getting in a bed with a new couple. Also, watch out for “regulars” who are opportunistic and like to pounce on new members. It is important to be confident and approach those you’re interested in, and to be confident telling those who approach you that you aren’t interested in that “it was nice meeting you, we’re going to keep making friends” or something like that. Many new members will hook up with the first people who approach them and seem friendly, and end up matching with opportunistic and sometimes pushy regulars who they otherwise wouldn’t be attracted to.

“Taking one for the Team”

This is a common term when one person is a couple is attracted to another couple but their spouse isn’t. We STRONGLY recommend saying “no” and moving on when this is the case, as “taking one for the team” can lead to resentment, uncomfortable situations, and even traumatic experiences. Believe us, it IS NOT fun to be in bed with another couple and see the person you love not enjoying themselves. It’s NEVER worth it, no matter how hot of sex you could have had!

See How It’s Done

Kate and I documented our ENTIRE swinging experience with aa new couple, from discussing boundaries to likes and dislikes, to the actual sex. We tried some new things and it was beautiful. One disclaimer is that we exchanged STD results and discussed protection prior to the meet, which we went without due to special circumstances and because we were recording. In real life, use protection!!! Other than that, it’s a real and authentic view of swinging. You can see the full video including boundaries discussion and orgy at our OnlyFans, under the “swinging” category. There’s also a few 3-ways including MMF and FFM for your enjoyment 🙂 

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And of course, if you want to give your partner the ultimate gift of intimacy, sign up for our Learn to Give Sensual & Tantric Lingam Massage course. In this course, I walk you through how to give a mind-blowing, intimate, tantric lingam massage. This course includes written instructions (narrative option available), demonstrative videos, downloadable worksheets, mindfulness exercises, intimate videos demonstrating techniques, and guided-audio for you to listen to while giving your partner a sensual massage. I have filled this course with every technique and tip that I know, because I wanted to give you as much guidance as possible, so that you and your partner can experience the benefits of sensual lingam massage.

​Much Love,

Chris

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